Little by little

I've been back on Weight Watchers again for the last month or more. I've been trying to work diligently to track what I'm eating and make good choices. Step one after my gluttony in Italy in September was to start focusing in on this again. Things have been going pretty good and I've lost some weight. In fact I enjoy eating healthier, it just takes more effort.

Step two was to join the gym. I had to move from the gym at work because its being rennovated so I joined 24hr Fitness. I set up some personal training sessions to get a plan going. So far I'm incredibly sore and I'm still not able to figure out how to make the weight machines fit my short body.

Results... I'm seeing them for sure. I bought a dress from Banana Republic recently that is 2, count'em 2 sizes smaller than I had been wearing a year ago. YAY!! Ok, well its still a little tight but I think it will be perfect soon. The only sad thing in this process is that the coat I spent a good chunk on last winter is now way too big for me (along with a few other key items). So I either pay money to have it taken in, or I buy a new coat. I actually found a few things in my closet that I haven't been able to fit in for years that now are perfect. Kara was laughing because I was having so much fun shopping in my own closet last week.

The Death of Blogging... NO!

I feel I've neglected blogging out here lately because of Facebook. Its hard to find the balance there, but I do think blogging is a great way to express more than a random thought a day. Facebook is great for quick updates of friends and sharing pictures and silly things. But blogging takes more thought. Frankly it pushes me to process some of my life too and sharing it with you all is always good accountability for me. So here's what's been mulling about in my head lately and its not a good post but I suppose I'm a little rusty.

I love, love, love old movies. Colleen loaned me a bag of movies and I'm working my way through The Thin Man series and I'm in love. These characters blow the Gilmore Girls out of the water with all their fast paced dialog and its incredibly witty. For example this is a line I just heard "What do you mean illiterate? My parents were married right here in City Hall!". Classic. I used to work through old movies like this in high school. I'd just start a movie marathon and watch every single one in a row. How else would I have seen every Esther Williams movie made. There is just something so lovely about old films. I adore the clothing, the style, and I think they can knock many of our current day films out of the water. So that's a little happiness.

Knitting... I'm knitting again and I've come to the realization that I'm quite awful at it. Yet I keep going. I will finish Anna's hat! Though I feel its an effort in futility.

Over the Rhine... I'm so giddy I get to see them in December live. Go listen to them and you'll know why.

My house has become a source of endless projects. How do you not always feel behind when you own a house? My gutters need cleaned. I have a dresser that I need to refinish in the garage that's taking up space. Paint that needs patched in my bedroom. But hey, today I got a lamp up in the living room so we can finally see at night. What a novel idea. It required me drilling a nice hole in the plaster in the ceiling and Kara marveling that I even have a drill and can do such a thing. I like my drill, oh and the power sander I used last weekend.

Speaking of novels... I need a new one to read. But I doubt any will compare to my last one finished. But I guess I need to jump into the lake some time.

Bible Study... We started one this week and it was such a blessing to be a part of it. I hosted it at my house but thankfully I'm not the organizer. I think this has been a void in my life for a while. I am definitely feeling the fact that I haven't been in the Word enough lately. I even read through some old journals recently and it just seems I'm on repeat with my issues and struggles in my life. I'm sure they are cycling and progressing some how, but it was a wake up call that I just go through living life sometimes without really living. Just today I was convicted that I am not even prayerfully considering who is lost around me that needs to know about Christ and to feel his love. This makes me sad.

Alas...Finito

I just finished one of the most entertaining and interesting books I've read in ages. I was pulled in from the start by the crazy and overly descriptive words. I am a big fan of anyone using the English vernacular to its fullest extent, and any time I read a book or hear the use of a perfectly fitting vocabulary word I sigh in contentment. It is fanciful and intriguing at every turn. I can't even begin to describe it, you'll just need to give it a try.

The book is A Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin. I have to admit it took quite a while to work through, but when I came to the end this week I was actually sad. I enjoyed the entire journey. I suppose I need to return it to it's original owner now who let me trek it half way around the world, thank you. Its now covered in my Italian travels' dirt and notes scribbled all over.

Just one sample of perfection to whet your appetite. So many, many more inside...
"Who said that justice is what you imagine? Can you be sure that you know it when you see it, that you will live long enough to recognize the decisive thunder of its occurrence, that it can be manifest within a generation, within ten generations, within the entire span of human existence? What you are talking about is common sense, not justice. Justice is higher and not as easy to understand--until it presents itself in unmistakable splendor."

Helprin, Mark. Winter's Tale. New York: Harcort Brace & Company, 1983. p 149

Grace

I am struck today by how much we need God's grace in our lives. We all make decisions in our free will that mold and shape our lives. Some are good decisions and some not so wise. Regardless, God walks with us through each of those decisions and steps in our lives. I think we know that God has grace for us, but accepting that grace is where we (I) struggle. It seems too easy for us to accept the grace and mercy given us in Christ so we find ways to punish ourselves or we continue to carry the burden of our sin needlessly. It has already been carried to the cross for us. His grace is sufficient. I am meditating on that today.

Milestones and Mania

I'm off for the next two weeks. I planned this trip over a year ago when Laurel were discussing the fateful day I would turn the big, epic 3-0. In the words of a wise Knight.... I'm having quite a bit of "existential angst" right now about this! To say I'm traumatized about this is an understatement. In fact it seems quite impossible because I don't feel this age, and apparently as I found last week, I don't look this age either (yahoo... I think?)! I decided it was best if I be somewhere totally foreign on this fateful day.

So we hatched the plan to meet up and go to Italy and just enjoy life. I must say its so very nice to be looking forward to this birthday because of where and who I'll be with. Much better than dreading it at home by myself. My goal is to live it up and remember all the things God has given me up to this point in my life and celebrate that. I'll post some more travel related info on my travel blog when I return.

Blessings

I have no witty thoughts lately for my blog friends. It's a sad reality, but I think all the frantic work I've been doing on the house are sucking all my brain cells straight out of my head. In fact there were more than a few occasions in the past week where I couldn't even formulate or articulate my thoughts at work. It would be funnier if it hadn't been so annoying.

But enough of that... All that work is leading up to a BIG FAT Celebration! My Open House is this Saturday at 4pm. Come one come all! I've sent out invites if you didn't get one let me know and I'll send you the specifics via email. I tried to keep track of addresses and invitees but really with this recent state of mind don't take it personally if you didn't get one. Hopefully by then I'll at least have the boxes in the spare room stacked nicely instead of the giant pile they are now. One task at a time.

I was so very grateful this weekend for so many things. God reminded me that He's taking me through each and every step in my life and this weekend he provided me with some great support. I had a truck to borrow to run errands in and pick up some Ikea furniture, which is still in its very heavy box waiting to be assembled. I have a great roommate who worked on painting and spiffing the house up all day Saturday. I had these amazing gardening fairies (can fairies be masculine, I think so based on Midsummer Night's Dream) show up and mow and edge my lawn, plant and trim flowers not to mention pressure wash my drive way. It was pure and utter loveliness. Then I had a wonderful night out with a friend that ended in sipping wine on my new deck and great conversation. Sunday I felt God telling me I needed to observe a Sabbath Day or I'd never survive the next week. So instead of finishing the list of tasks I had a great lunch and lazy afternoon with friends and ended the night finishing a great book. So much to be thankful for!

Oh and a reminder that the Oregon Symphony's free concert on the waterfront is this Thursday! The best night of the year.

Will it never end?

Now that I am officially in my first lovely house all I see around me are things I want to update, paint, fix or decorate. I am working every minute I'm home on some little project it seems. There are endless spots to touch up with paint, fix or tackle. Last week I got new window's installed and a more secure door on the garage and a new dishwasher and disposal installed. Next I need to actually find a washer and dryer because I can only survive so long hauling it to Matt and Emily's who graciously let me use theirs tonight.

I can't seem to relax at all when I'm here yet. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love that I can actually DO these little improvements. In fact this is just what I was wanting (little projects). I just need to be okay with pacing myself which has always been a struggle. I am a "red" personality in this test I took last year and really it means I just want to get things DONE and get them done quickly. Taking my time is hard. Usually on moving I have the entire house decorated and put away with in a month! I'm working on pacing myself though. Also the finances are a good reminder that I need to take it slow, because soon the money will be gone if I'm not careful! I had 1a friend at work today explain that before you buy you talk in thousands of dollars (price of the house, financing, down payments etc...) but once you own it you talk in hundreds of dollars (washers, dryers, windows etc...). Will it never end? I guess not. This is what you do when you own a home. Wow... No going back now.

Oh and yes I know you all want to see pictures but I need a few things to be a bit more done before I post before and after pictures. I'll try and do it by next week, this weekend hopefully we'll get a lot more of the little details done. Also the open house is August 30th at 4pm. Invites are coming I swear, but consider this also your invite.

Its actually happening!

My inspections and requested repairs have gone really well. There are two minor details on a repair that need fixed and I still want the tree from next door trimmed up. I'm off to China for a week so my agent will be working this beat for me. I come back next Saturday and on that Monday at 8 am I sign papers! Oh my goodness! Its surreal.

If you are up for helping me move my plan is August 2nd garage sale to get rid of stuff I no longer need. I think we'll do this at Matt and Emily's house on Yamhill a few blocks away. I'll also work on painting my new house that week inside. August 9th is moving day! Let me know if you can help? I'm hoping to do an open house the weekend of August 23rd or 30th. Still working on confirming that date so my parents can come up.

Thanks everyone for all your input and support in this process. I feel like a grown up!

Hope is becoming reality

My house (I'm trying to get used to the fact that this is set to be my new house and not just a faint hope!) had a great inspection on Friday! There are a few things that need addressed but I fully expected that. The huge tree next door burrowed under the foundation at one point. It looks like that has been addressed but we might still need to have someone take a look and make sure its not growing again. Plus one more detail to check on Monday. Once that is done we'll send my laundry list off to the seller to negotiate they be fixed. Up until now I kept thinking something was going to happen and the deal would fall through. As I sat in the house on Friday and measured rooms and windows I was more and more at peace that it really is a great little house. I am thankful for God's provision in all areas of my life. The stress is ebbing away.

Panic!

So I accepted the Sellers counter offer on the Taylor St house. You'd think this would make me super excited but its really just created a lot of panic for me. I made the offer the second day it was on the market and I didn't go to low and in the end I'm paying almost asking price for the house. So its a good house with a lot of space for me and it seems to be in good shape. So why am I panicking?! Maybe its because I made the decision so quickly and its not the cute little doll house I had assumed I'd buy. But those little doll houses are just that, little!

I can logically talk myself through the fact that I'm getting a good house. It has good bones, tons of space, the yard is cute and it has the garage I wanted. So what's my deal?! I think its just the panic over committing to such a big financial transaction for the first time. I am committing to this house for quite a few years and I'm just praying its a good investment and that the neighborhood will go up in value like I'm predicting it will.

People say oh you just know its the house. But I didn't just know. I know its a good house and it meets all my requirements and I think it will be a good house. But maybe I'm just not in love with it yet. I think if I'd come close to losing the deal I'd feel differently. And you all wonder why I'm not married... Seriously people I think I have commitment issues.

This is it!

So yesterday I just hit the point where I said this is it! This is my last day to look for houses! I'm so tired of it, who knew this could happen? I thought it would be so fun. But really its a huge ordeal of compromising and agonizing over what to go for and what to leave behind. God and I had a chat and unless something fantastic came up I was going to make an offer on the for sale by owner house by the bike path. Its cute and I could move right in. But being next to the bike path and the freeway and the new Max line (not cool)!

So we go out with Cheryl (Erin joined me today) and we saw some bad houses and some nice condos (If it was just me I might have considered one but they are two small for two and no garage!). Then we even saw some fantastic town homes but they were all the way in Gresham. Which would mean my commute would be just as long as it is now. Something I wanted to avoid. So I'd have gone for that one for sure if it wasn't for location. If I didn't work in Beaverton but rather downtown it would be just right. You'll see why when you look at the pictures.

Essentially God gave me a good three other options that were really nice and the FSBO by the bike path was less and less appealing. So then as we are back in the office and Cheryl is printing me some stuff on the town homes (which are super cheap for what you get) she sees two new houses on the market in the Montavilla area that went on the market yesterday. We get excited because both look promising and so we extend our time to go see them. We saw a cute 50's ranch on Taylor and then a very cute and well decorated dollhouse on Alder.

The house on Alder was decorated in my style for sure. It even had a gas fireplace! But the electrical panel is the old fuse panel type and the siding is definitely needing replaced at some point. Two nice big expenses. The house is small though 770 sq ft. We discussed how it would be perfect yet again for one person, but over that and you will be a little cramped. Small, small closets still. It was difficult not to be sucked in by the cute factor (check out the pic's and you'll see why).

On SE Taylor there was a cute ranch style 50's house. Its in a very quiet part of Taylor (in the middle between 82 and 92 so perfectly placed). Looks small and cute but then you go in and there is a huge addition out the back. It has three bedrooms and two baths and its in my neighborhood! Its got a newer looking roof and the siding is in good shape (cedar shake). The electrical panel looks more updated and there are fabulous decks already built off the front and back (Trex). Downsides are it needs vinyl windows but I now know how much it costs to do this and its not so scary (but does take money), the baths were last done in 1978 I'm sure so they need updated but they are by far nicer old baths. The kitchen is the only downside. It is cabinets from essentially the year the place was built and doesn't have much appeal. But its livable and has a lot of potential.



Cheryl walked in and was so excited when she saw it. Its all the things I've been wanting even if it looks like grandma's house right now. She told me not too mess around and make an offer! Essentially its a 3 bed 2 bath with nice updates, money one's like roofing and decks) for the same price as all the others I looked at! We think its a little under priced already, which is GOOD for me. So I am making an offer today! It has great potential. The space alone means it will appreciate very nicely and I can only make it more updated and better. Pray, pray, pray! I want to just have it all be over with. At least the picking part.

Check out the pic's on dropshots. The MLS number is 8061964 if you want to go check it out.

What to do, what to do?!!!

So we found out the house I first put an offer in on Alder was still available this week and they would consider my counter offer. I went back through today and my agent's husband came through also to give us an estimate on some of the things I'd want done on the house. I really just wanted to find out what it would cost to update the kitchen a little, convert the garage room back to a garage and possibly retexture the walls and ceiling in the living area. A lot of work, but all of it doesn't have to be done right away.

I also had my roommate Kara come and look through with me too. So it started out ok, but then as we went it got worse and worse. The garage conversion back is the least of my issues. The windows they put in the addition's bedroom aren't the right size and turns out they aren't legal either. They need to be bigger and I'd probably need to put in a door in the room. I don't mind that because I wanted a door out to the back yard anyway, but its just the tip of the iceberg.The furnace is blocked in by a wall so you can't even get in to it to service it. There is also not enough return air coming back to the furnace so its probably working overtime which is never good. I think this is something we'd need fixed, and the all ripped out but I don't want to pay for it. The next big ticket item is the roof. I knew it might need replaced and I was hoping it would be an easy fix, but it actually has to be stripped all the way down and because Shake is underneath (why oh why do people do these things) it would need plywood laid down and then reshingled. That's not cheap, at least 10k.

Oh and all the window's are random which I knew before but some of the vinyl windows need replaced because seals are broken. So there are not only cosmetic fixes that are needed but some bigger repairs too.

So comes the decision... If I can get the price down or the furnace and roof replaced as part of the deal I would consider going ahead. I just don't know if this is going to be a money pit. The yard is beautiful. It has good space with the bonus room. I like the layout of the house. I can live with the kitchen for a few years if I get the dishwasher and disposal put in and bit of paint will help a good deal.

I think the little yellow house was really the solid house. I am praying that somehow they decide to reconsider my offer on it. My agent is going to check in again with the sellers. They took the house off the market officially but perhaps they'll reconsider and work directly with us. So prayers would be good! There is someone who will look into the furnace next week and give us an expert opinion on it. Hopefully God will make it clear to me what to do or if there is another house I should be waiting for. I feel like I can't wait forever because Kara needs a home to move into and the rates aren't steady now and I don't want them to go up.

I don't know...

Two strikes...

So I found out today that the second house I placed an offer on (Yellow one on Morrison) is tied up in the owner's divorce and they didn't even counter my offer but instead are taking it off the market. So annoying! I mean if they weren't serious about selling they shouldn't have had it on the market. I am bummed because I had really just felt it was the one for me.

So now I am back to the drawing board. I feel like I've seen every house out on the market in my price and target area. The two I placed offers on I'd be totally happy with, but no luck. Now I am struggling to figure out if I pick something that I passed up already. But if I passed it up already maybe it should just stay out of the running? I'm a little depressed and tired of looking. I know though that God has affirmed to me this weekend that he has a plan for me. So now comes the patient part. This is the part I struggle with the most.

Decisions are so hard!

I found a little house I liked this weekend. It needs a few things done on it, but it has good space for the price and the updates it needs I think I could do over time. I was all set to go take a second look this weekend and make an offer. Well my agent calls me today and says someone else has made an offer. So began my dilemma and push to make a quick decision.

I have been praying about the house and I know God has the right one for me, but which one? How will I know this is the one? I'm such a quick decision maker usually, but this isn't something I can just take back to the store if I don't like it. Its a big investment and a huge financial step. I talk with my dad and mom every few days and its been so fabulous to bounce it all off of them. I also have many people praying for me on this issue too which is so very comforting. So I felt confident that I should just take the plunge and make an offer. I have to do it sometime and if I don't I might regret it later (I'm still regretting not making an offer on Grandma's house though it would have been a ton of work). I figure the worst they can do is turn it down, and then I'll have confirmation this house wasn't for me. I made the offer pretty close to what I was planning already and I think its fair. If they take the one then they take it.

So now comes the waiting game. I am not in the best position here being the second person to put an offer in so I'm not banking on getting a yes. I just feel peace about this though I am sure I'll be disappointed if I don't get it. Its hard when the thing in front of you "right now" looks like the best idea/option you have and then it doesn't work out, it can be devestating really. But I am confident that God has something good in store for me even if I don't see it right now. He will protect me through this and if its a bad decision to buy this house I am trusting him to close the door. He's done it before and I trust he will do it again.

So how do you all deal with these kinds of things? I think I'll make a new poll for this (check it out on the right).

Pictures are on my dropshots links of all the houses this weekend. My top three were the one above on Alder, a cute little yellow cottage on Morrison, and a nicely landscaped house on 85th.

Layout must change!

Okay, I liked the pink girlie motif for about an hour and now I'm ready to go nuts every time I look at this page... So expect a new look to my site soon!

Oh, I'm so annoyed just looking at this... Must find something better.

Overwhelmed

That's exactly how I feel right now about the house hunting process. There are a million factors to take into account all at once. Can I afford this, do I have time or money to fix that, can I live with that bathroom, where will I park my car, would that be a good investment, is this a safe neighborhood? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

After my last turn out this weekend I think I've seen about 20 houses maybe more and I'm not closer to a decision I'm just more confused. I left my agent on Sunday and practically started crying when I hit my car. The stress it getting to me. I'm taking the weekend off and going down to see my Mom and Dad and Meagan. Maybe I will get some clarity on my week off from looking, or maybe the perfect place will go on the market or have a price drop.


Here's the latest thoughts:

SE 113th St, it is by Floyd Light and near where I used to rent my little studio. It has cute curb appeal and only a few flaws. It needs some minor updates and forced air put in. Bonus is there is a garage and a nice curb appeal. Its not my ideal neighborhood that's for sure. But its not bad.

Berrydale might have too many fixes needed, but I still like the neighborhood and the idea of doing some updates the way I want them. There is a house a few blocks over that just dropped its price (Hawthorne-pics on my dropshots site). But downer is no garage, up side is that its a little more updated and has a bonus room (former garage).

I had a friend just tell me I need a clear strategy and to stick to it until I find it. This coming from someone who took two years to find a place... I'm a bit of a faster mover. Though he's right I'm not finding anything, because I don't totally have a plan of what to look for. So maybe that's something I need to rethink. So far all I've decided is: 2 bedrooms in my price range and livable kitchen and bath (minor updates are ok). Not so specific. Still up in the air are do I want a fixer, can I handle a fixer? Do I want a condo? Do I want a yard? Um... Yes to all and no.

See here's an apartment conversion condo I saw this weekend in a random stop by for an open house that was done very nicely and its not exactly in the price range I was trying to stick to. And here's a fixer in a totally awesome neighborhood that has TONS of potential. But I haven't seen this in person so I don't know how much work it needs and I could only do a limited $ amt of improvements before I'd tap out my resources.

Can you tell I'm just confusing myself more?

House Hunters

So Teresa inspired this post with her comment earlier in the week. I love the show House Hunters on HGTV. They show buyers looking at homes and show three choices and in a strange way its like a game show and you pick which one you think they should choose. So I'm letting you all come on the same little journey with me as look for a house. For fun I added a new poll element to the right. Tell me your opinions! This week's poll is about what house to choose. I'm still looking but here's the top three I've seen. The town home from the previous post is out, it was way too small to be livable, just shows you that pic's online can be deceiving!

1) Updated Tabor Condo is still in the running. Though possibly lower on the list.
Pro's:

• Updated kitchen with no work required
• Tabor area, need I say more
• Little (and I mean little or not there) patio/yard, this can go either way I guess

Con's:

• Awkward bathroom and washer and dryer layout in some models
• Not many have sold which might work in my favor, or means I might kick myself when the drop the prices after I buy one!
• Some hokey apartments are right next door
• No garage and limited storage space

2) Berrydale Cute Cottage was a front runner today. I love the area, the size is about the same as the condo and close in price.

Pro's:

• In Montavilla area right by Berrydale park on a quieter side street. Close to the church and Matt and Emily
• Newer looking roof and gutters
• Garage and LOTS of storage.
• An actual house and yard!
• Been on the market for a long time meaning I might be able to get a deal.
• Nice little laundry area off the kitchen
• Fairly good shape to start with.

Con's:

• Bathroom is small and only has a shower.
• Kitchen is a HYSTERICAL throw back to 1970, though oddly its kitsch is a little charming. It would need demo'd and replaced eventually. No dishwasher and OLD stove.
• Windows are not insulated and need replaced.

3) New construction in a transitional neighborhood. This is a newer freestanding house.
Pro's:

• Brand spanking new, though certainly not high end construction it seems done well.
• Good layout and little yard area
• Could move right in.
• Bathrooms and Bedrooms are good sized

Con's:

• Only two blocks from 82nd which is a tad scary
• No garage or driveway (what were they thinking?)
• Neighbors might be sketchy

I'm definitely still looking, but thought I'd give you all some of my first thoughts. I have a feeling I will change my mind a million times during this process. So far I love my agent Cheryl and I'm not so sure about the mortgage broker (we'll see if he turns out).

It was time for a makeover...

I change my hair every few years and I can't believe I allowed this blog to go unchanged in 3 years! It was long overdue and I've been watching a lot of make over shows so I guess it was inevitable. Also I had some blog envy after seeing some really cool updates to my friends sites lately. So what do you think? I had about 20 options narrowed down and I'm still trying to decide if this is the one...

Next up a new look for my travel blog!

Long drive, bigger place...Aaah so many factors!!

Check out this townhouse. Its big and has two count em two baths and a garage for the same price and condo fee's as the Tabor place BUT and a big but its close to Clackamas and where I live now. Which means I wouldn't really get any benefits of moving closer to work and I wouldn't be near Tabor or the church. But it has a pool and gym.

Aaaaaahhhhh.... Decisions are hard!

Thoughts my friends?

They like me, they really really like me!!!

I found out today I am pre-approved for a mortgage. Wow that sounds so grown up! The price I was hoping for I am covered for and now I think after re-working my budget some its an achievable thing to buy my first place!

Next step is finding the place. I'm leaning towards the condo in the previous post but want to see a few other places in my price range before I commit and make an offer. I'm calling a real estate agent tomorrow...
Stay tuned.

A New Development

So I have been wanting to buy a place for years now, but its just not ever seemed quite right. Now the market is in a downturn (good for me a buyer) in Portland and I have a new (better paying job) and the last key piece... I might have a roommate lined up. I have been worried that I couldn't buy a place without a little help monthly. A gal who lives up at World View is wanting to move out and is willing to either rent from me or get a place with me closer in Portland. Hooray!

So now comes the research and prep work. I need to figure out what I can buy, budget etc... I need to start looking at places. So far I've found a condo that's close in on the east side that is an old apartment complex (built in the 60's) that has been refurbished nicely. I went to the open house a few weeks ago before my trip to India for work. I bthat I can afford a house (if I can find a good one I'll do it), and I don't know that I can keep up a yard etc... So the condo's have been the area I'm focusing on, not too mention the Mt Tabor area. I miss it, I need to move back.

So if you have a good real estate agent, mortgage broker etc... Let me know?

Trash Situation

I want to start off by saying I like the idea of being environmentally conscious. I think it is our duty as stewards of this earth to take care of it and our natural resources and not just consume everything like gluttons. But sometimes the "green" movement drives me crazy. It is the hip thing right now in Portland and the rest of the Northwest I'm sure to be as sustainable as possible. Everything I see on t.v. is about being green and Eco friendly. You can't escape it. Its like the AIDS awareness movement of the 90's those of you who remember that (red ribbons on everything that moved). Does anyone remember the figure skater who wore an insane outfit that had a giant red ribbon on it? Here's a fun pic I found to remind you of it... I couldn't resist.



Nothing against any of these causes but really I just get so annoyed when a cause becomes the "trendy" thing to do and be a part of. What about when a new trend cause comes along? What happens to this one? Okay, that was a tangent from my original rant...

Let me explain what I like to call the "trash situation" right now. To sum up... they've stopped emptying our trash at work. It is now our job to sort our trash into recyclable bins in the break room. I'm cool with recycling, really don't mind it. I always drop my plastic bottles and cans in the bins. I was even excited to see that they switched all our to go boxes and cutlery to be recyclable materials in the cafeteria. But here's where I get annoyed with the trash situation... They sent us all this nice, and what looks like a very non-recyclable glossy, paper to explain the new bins for recycling and to let us know they would no longer empty our trash. Why not just give us the bins and encourage us to use them, why stop emptying the normal trash? There will ALWAYS be trash.

Maybe I'm lazy and too used to being spoiled, but I really dislike emptying my trash at work. For one I'm busy, and I forget, and then the trash doesn't get emptied gross! It was one of the constants in my life I could rely on. Every few days my trash would magically disappear. It was like breathing, you don't even notice its happening, but if it stops its quite painful. I already have to remember to take my trash out at home which is hard enough. I miss my trash being emptied. I miss other people's trash being emptied too... You know that was one standard we could hold every one's cube to, at least their trash would be emptied. Now its up to them, and let's just say not everyone is as clean as we would hope.

My biggest issue has been... The compost bin in the break room. Call me old fashioned but I think compost should be something that only happens outside in gardens! Luckily it's emptied nightly so it doesn't get too gross if people keep the lid down. And the one lone trash can now left in the break room is way too small for a floor full of people and is often overflowing. Probably because no one feels like sorting through their trash so they just chuck it all when no one's looking instead of sorting. Not that I've done that or anything.

The perfect solution to this... Some magical machine that sorts all trash as required and does it in an air tight vacuum sealed container. Now that is worth our investment. Really I suppose its good if even 1/2 of the people I work with sort their trash we'll have a lot less waste a year. My guilt is kicking in I guess. It just came too fast for me and with no choice. I need some warning people.

Casseroles, really?

I've been listening to the Daily Audio Bible podcast on my way to work lately. I have a good 45 minute drive and I can never seem to fit in actual sit down reading time, so this has been a fantastic way to get into the word daily and multitask. Not to mention I get to work a whole lot calmer and with less road rage. I'm sure the streets are safer!

The reader on the podcast switches versions or translations of the bible every week. Its a nice way to get a different perspective sometimes. So this week's readings were from the Message. I like the Message for some things, its definitely more of a translation in today's vernacular but when you are used to hearing the words in a certain way some moments really catch you off guard. This week I laughed out loud when this was read...

Matthew 9:23

"By now they had arrived at the house of the town official, and pushed their way through the gossips looking for a story and the neighbors bringing in casseroles. "

That's right my friends... Casseroles! Who knew they had casseroles in Jesus' day? I thought Pyrex was a 20th century invention. Seriously? Its one thing to put it in modern day language, but could we try and still be true the time in history? Perhaps you could have left it to them just bringing food. Everyone would have still got the point. I envision some translator somewhere giggling as they put this in and wondering who would laugh at it.

P.S. On the 101 things to do with a casserole pic, I hope they are creative... Like throw two from the top of a building and see which lands first!

Everyone should get...

A personal chef. Seriously get one.

My new job's hours have been very late and not conducive to me making good healthy dinners. Most nights for the past month or two have consisted of me stopping to get food on the way home from work any place I saw or had on speed dial. This is not a good idea when you are trying to be healthier and do Weight Watchers. So my friend Kate has been making healthy meals (in WW portions and with points figured out for you) for a few families weekly, and she's now cooking two meals a week for me too! I get a few portions out of each so it should last me for the weekdays at least. I have my own personal chef. How fancy!

Tonight was my first night and I came home at 8:30 (yep, 8:30 pm) and there's no way I would have cooked anything tonight. I mean I don't even think well at this point in the evening if I don't eat. So I was so excited coming home and knowing there was good food waiting for me and all I have to do is heat it and eat. YUMMY!

Stuck

Do you ever feel just totally stuck in the way you think? Or defeated even by your own thoughts? I definitely struggle with this. Its like we have an ongoing dialog in our heads and usually that internal dialog is pretty negative. I have a few trains of thought I've been trying to leave behind lately, but when you speak something in your head so many times it seems impossible to stop that habit. How do you retrain your brain? My one thought is that this is where that whole renewing your mind verse comes into play. Each time the thought comes in refute it with truth, but that right there is a habit that needs built. I read somewhere it takes 6 months to make a habit. That's a long time.

So here's hoping your internal struggles with yourself are going better than mine.

Action required

As part of my efforts to take action on what God prompted me on this weekend I am now trying to ingest the Word and good teaching on a daily basis. Its one of those things I need to build as a discipline, not to achieve a certain amount of reading a day but just to daily listen to God. To start I'm downloading a Bible reading from iTunes onto my iPod to listen to while working out and I've also downloaded some good teachings from Imago Dei Community. I love podcasts!!! I've got a link to their site over to the right now and you can also find them on iTunes under podcasts if you are curious. The series they went through on Casting Down Idols has been pretty good for me to work through. I'm also looking forward to hearing some of Jody Mayhew's teachings on Hebrews on her site (also to the right now under Blogs). I miss her teaching because its while I'm at work, so this is exciting for me to find.

The second effort I'm taking, thanks to my friend Kate will be to really try to meet the Lord in prayer and with some accountability weekly (at least when I'm in town). I used to do this with various friends in the past and I feel the need to make it a priority again. Pray that God would motivate the right group to possibly join in with us, or not. We know the time will be worth the effort even if its just us.

I'm stating a lot of this here just so you my friends will keep me accountable to it and ask me how I'm doing keeping these priorities and actions going.

Words have power

I was at our women's retreat this weekend. Its always a good weekend for me, but the words this weekend felt meant for me at this specific time in my life. I needed this weekend. There was a rock for each of us with a word on it that had been revealed to the organizers for us specifically. It was amazing how each word impacted and was real to each woman who attended. Serious prayer went into those rocks. It might seem silly to you to have a word on a rock, but when its a word from the Lord its no longer just a rock and its definitely not silly.

Some of the words were hard to figure out and others were struck with the meaning of their word immediately. My word was "wise". I struggled myself with this one. Its a good word but what did it mean in relation to me? I had no real clue until today.

I have been wise in small ways and I have been very unwise in other ways. I feel I am being called to be wise. Being wise isn't being smart. James 3:13-17 says:

"13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." (NIV)

Did you ever think of being wise as being pure, peace-loving and sincere? Its not my first thought. But I had an opportunity this weekend to make peace instead of harbor bitterness. It felt so right to give up myself to make peace, and surprisingly it was easy.

So how have I been unwise? I haven't been listening to the truth. That's the stupidest thing we can do.

I woke up and realized I've been so stuck in my own head and thoughts, and possibly the enemies thoughts that I can't hear the voice of God. I think that's where I've been lately. Believe me its been very detrimental. I've never had such tormented thoughts and feelings of panic. There is no peace away from the Lord (again that lack of wisdom).

When we don't hear God's voice or listen to him we are left to hear only our self and the lies of the enemy. Its a very unsafe place. We have to feast on the word of God for our sustenance and life. I haven't been feasting. I'm anemic.

So perhaps this is my new resolution, or just my next task in my maturity. You can all pray for me, because studying God's Word has never been easy for me. I can hear you all gasping and saying, but Katie don't you have a Bible degree and teach HS at church? Yes and yes... I can do it in spurts, I can do it when there are things I need to teach on. In fact when I teach is usually the best time in my life. Sometimes I even have amazing days where I am immersed in the Word. But days don't last you through a year. To just make it part of my normal intake of my life has elluded me. It's apparent I need to build this discipline in my life or I won't survive.

Oh my word I've been on blogger for over 2 years!

I was just scanning my site today and realized I've been posting since September 2005! Wow... I was totally surprised, but I love blogging and I am so excited to keep up with friends out here.

So in honor of that fun revelation here's a link to my very first month on blogger:
http://alifeunfinished.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_archive.html

Maybe some day I'll have a 10 year blogger anniversary. Seriously its one of my longest relationships. Okay that was a bad joke! Sorry.

New Experiences, New Blog

Check out the new blog on my travels: http://travelswithkatie.blogspot.com/

Stress

Only one week before my first trip for work to Asia. It's been a crazy week, and it was a short one (only 3 days!). I've learned already that trying to communicate with people who have English as their second language is not easy! I don't think anyone realizes how many slang words or colloquialisms we use in every day conversations. I find myself struggling to explain new concepts and ideas without using them and its very overwhelming. Not too mention I got the joy of explaining a project to everyone in the countries that they don't understand but need to validate in the next few weeks. Sigh... It feels like a rough start. Seriously this is the first time in years where I felt really out of my element at work. I'm having a mini culture shock and I haven't even left the country yet. I'm sure it will only continue when I travel next week. The one thing I'm really looking forward to is meeting some of my coworkers in person and hopefully crossing some of the language and time barriers.

Good news though... I have two or three people in my new team who are Christians. I was really excited to find this out this week. One is a very sweet lady from Korea who has moved to the US to help her kids to have less pressure on school work and to give them the ability to grow their spiritual life and just have the opportunity to be involved at church. How cool is that? I look forward to chatting with her more.